Every day, numerous people go to the airport and board planes. Sometimes it is for business. Sometimes it is for leisure, but one thing holds true for both cases. Everything from the lines to get onto the plane to the cramped seats on the plane sucks. I propose to solve all of these airline headaches with a revolutionary way to fly. I called it Nude Airlines. It will be exclusive. It will be luxurious. It will be nude.

Are you tired of having your bags searched, having your body patted down by security workers, or worse yet, get cavity searched by guys with cold hands ? Well, that's all been taken care of at Nude Airlines. You show up to the airport, wearing your jumpsuit, which is provided with every ticket purchase. All your luggage will be checked on the curb. Once you enter out exclusive terminal, you toss the garment to the side and stroll right through security. There is no need for a security pat down, because there isn't anywhere to hide anything. In order to curb the problem of fatties and preggos, the metal detectors will be kept narrow. If you're too big, you're not getting onto our airline.

The flight attendants will be nude as well to make passengers feel at ease. Meals will have to be limited to things you can keep sealed in plastic until it is time for consumption. Food handled by naked people just isn't cool.

So come fly with us at Nude Airlines! You can get through security quickly, get an eyeful, and if you're lucky you might even get to join The Mile High Club.