I'm sure you have all heard the saying, "Music tames the savage beast," but who is this savage beast? The savage beast is a woman! Okay, so women aren't always or even normally savage beasts, but I thought I would say it anyway, to amuse you people or at least myself. Yes, I am currently smirking right now at my own comment. My point here is not that women are savage beasts, but music is the way to get chicks. I propose that using music is the best way to get girls to like you, after alcohol of course. So break out those keyboards, tune up those guitars, and if you are a total dork, get out your accordion or bagpipes. Why is music such a great way to get chicks?

Music makes and sparks memories for people. Let's face it. When we hear certain songs, we think of particular times in our lives or even of certain people. Want a girl to think about you? Tie the time you spend with her with music. You will be stuck in her head every time those special songs come up. The more she thinks about you, she will convince herself that perhaps you're not such a bad guy and that she does have a lot of fun with you.

It shows effort. If you can write a song about a girl it means you put effort into something. Chicks dig effort. There is no question about this. It means you thought this girl is special enough to immortalize her to words and music. You can't find me a girl that wouldn't love to have a song written about her.

It is free, yet so valued. Any jackass can buy flowers, but to write a song is special. Not just anyone can do it, and yet it's completely free. Every year you have Christmas, her birthday, Valentine's day, and your anniversary. Who has that kind of money? Think about all the money you will save each year. If you want to be greedy, you can write the song and also get the flowers and gifts, but trust me on this one. No girl will notice that there's only one rose instead of a dozen as long as there is a song.

It's creative. Everyone does the same things for their girlfriends, but if you write a song, it is unique. No one else can say that they wrote that song for their girlfriend (unless you are recycling songs. See below.)

Songs can be recycled easily, and no one is the wiser. Think about how many obscure punk bands are out there that most people have never heard of ever. Combine that with the fact that most punk write about girls, and you have an endless supply of songs. Even if the songs are written to specific girls, most names are one to three syllables and a lot of them rhyme. Think about how easy it is to replace the names Angie, Annie, Sandy, Susie, or Mary. If you have a girl that is into punk bands and such, it might be a good idea to use songs written by other bands, because you might get called on that. In that case, you will have to put in a little more effort and write your own song,  but don't worry. Your songs can be recycled as well. You don't have to write your girl's name into the song. That way if things don't work out, you can just reuse the song on the next girl. How efficient is that?

If your girl writes poetry, you can take one of her poems and put it to music.* Lyrics are the hard part. If she gives them to you, you're set. You don't even have read what she wrote really. She will think you liked her poetry so much and that you actually listen to her, and that is why you wrote music for it. She doesn't have to really know that you were too lazy to write your own lyrics. One thing to check for before turning her poetry into a song is that it wasn't suicide poetry.

* Again, I turn to Mell for some inspiration and additions to my works on love. Why do I do that? She is about as successful as I am in the love department. We excel in this area, thus going to an expert such as her makes perfect sense.